Store Podcast Work with Sharna Blog

EP152: "I'm Fine" is not a strategy: Scott Wiederhold on Men, Infertility, and learning to speak up

Episode description:

What happens when the person walking beside you through infertility, IVF, and pregnancy loss has been conditioned since boyhood to say "I'm fine" and mean nothing by it?

In this episode, I'm joined by Scott Wiederhold, full cycle sales expert, men's emotional coach, and author of the forthcoming memoir Small Town Has-Been, for a conversation that goes far deeper than infertility. Scott shares his decade-long journey through two failed IVF cycles, an adoption that nearly happened, and the relationship that survived all of it, not by luck, but by communication that was chosen, deliberately, again and again.

We talk about what it actually costs a man to say "I'm fine" when he means the opposite. Why boys learn to shut down their emotions long before they ever become husbands or partners in a fertility journey. And what it looks like when a couple decides, together, to go first, to be vulnerable before it's comfortable, before they know how to do it perfectly.

This is one of those conversations I could have kept going for hours. Whether you're a man navigating your own silence, a woman trying to understand the person beside you, or a practitioner holding space for couples through loss, this one is for you.

In this episode:

  • Why "I'm fine" is a pattern, not an answer, and how it gets reinforced from grief counselling at 16 right through to the IVF clinic
  • How Scott and his wife Theresa built a communication practice through infertility that kept them from being pulled apart by the process
  • The moment in the car when two people who were done said so, without either one having to say it plainly
  • The adoption that almost happened, and why that became the final door closing on one chapter and opening another
  • What Scott tells men who are scared to feel: you don't have to be fluent in emotion to start speaking it
  • The simple practice of naming one feeling, just one, and why that snowballs into something that transforms a relationship

Resources mentioned:

Connect with Scott:

Connect with Sharna: 

đź“– Free guide:

The Loss Care Gap maps the six places women fall through care after pregnancy loss, from the loss itself through to fertility and pregnancy after loss. Download it here: https://www.sharnasouthan.com/the-loss-care-gap

If you support women through loss, it shows you where the women in your care are slipping through. If you've lived it yourself, please pass it on to your midwife, GP or doula.

Find me here: @reproductivelossleadership

Free guide, The Loss Care Gap: https://www.sharnasouthan.com/the-loss-care-gap

If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to stay connected.

Follow the podcast page: @pregnancyloss_podcast 

My mission is to help change the landscape of pregnancy loss care through education, advocacy, research, and evidence-informed, trauma-informed support. Whether you're navigating your own loss, supporting someone you love, or you're a healthcare professional wanting to improve the care you provide, there's a place for you here.

You can follow my work, explore educational resources, listen to more podcast episodes, or learn about the Pregnancy Loss Recovery Method™ and Integrated Pregnancy Loss Care framework, or the Pregnancy Loss & Trauma-Informed Specialist Certification.

Together, we're creating a future where every pregnancy loss is acknowledged, every family is supported, and every practitioner feels confident to provide compassionate, person-centred care.

I'd love to hear what resonated with you from today's episode. Share your thoughts, leave a review, or connect with me on social media. Your voice helps shape this conversation and reach more families who need it.

Thank you for being part of this community. Together, we're changing the future of pregnancy loss care.

 

 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts , it means the world and helps this conversation reach the people who need it most.

If this episode helped you feel seen, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Reviews help this conversation reach more women who are grieving in silence.