EP142: When the system sends you home and calls It care — with Guest Atara Parkinson
✨ Join the FREE Masterclass: The Mental Health Care Gap for Bereaved Mothers
If you support women and have ever wondered “What am I missing?” after pregnancy loss, this training is for you. Discover what standard frameworks can overlook and leave knowing what to look for, what questions to ask, and where your role fits in supporting the whole woman after loss.
Join the free masterclass here → https://www.facebook.com/groups/thereproductivelossleadershipnetwork
There is a moment that Atara Parkinson describes in this episode that will stop you in your tracks.
She has just given birth after 32 hours of labour. Third degree tears. A baby in the NICU. And a security guard who tells her — as her husband attempts to wheel her out of the hospital — that she cannot take the wheelchair. It can't leave hospital grounds. Figure it out.
That moment, she says, became the image that defined her entire career. Because once the baby is out, it is as though the mother disappears.
Atara is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 14 years in the mental health field, a certified integrative practitioner, and a mother of four — three of whom were NICU babies. Her work sits at the intersection of holistic healing, nervous system regulation, minerals and brain health, and postpartum support. She is also one of the most articulate voices I have encountered on what is actually happening inside the body when a woman cannot seem to move through her grief — and why.
This conversation goes somewhere most conversations don't. We talk about the biochemistry of getting stuck. About what happens at a cellular level when trauma enters the body and the nervous system decides it is not yet safe to let the guard down. About why the calcium spikes. Why the magnesium can't get in. Why your body is not failing you — it is protecting you. And what it actually takes to move through that, not just talk about it.
We also talk about the gap between what the medical system offers and what women actually need. About why talk therapy, as valuable as it is, is only ever engaging one part of the brain. And about why the body is sending 80% of the signals in this conversation — not the brain.
If you have ever felt stuck in your grief and wondered why — this episode is for you.
In this episode we cover:
- Atara's own story — three NICU babies, a gap in postpartum care, and the moment that shaped her life's work
- Why our culture treats the mother as invisible once the baby arrives — and how that plays out in pregnancy loss
- The shame–isolation loop and why connection (the right kind) is not optional in healing
- Why talk therapy alone cannot access where reproductive trauma is stored in the body
- The biochemistry of staying stuck — what happens when calcium spikes after trauma, why the protective shell forms, and what needs to shift for the body to feel safe again
- The role of magnesium and potassium in emotional regulation and nervous system calm
- How physical symptoms — disrupted sleep, shallow breathing, altered posture, blunted affect — are expressions of biochemical dysregulation, not separate problems
- The 80/20 communication ratio: why the body sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the body
- Why you cannot detox, heal, or regulate from inside a chronic stress state
- The 1% shift — how Atara approaches change with clients who are already overwhelmed
Connect with Atara:
Instagram: @atara.parkinson
NICU & birth trauma focus: @nicufreedom
Website: https://www.ataraparkinson.com/
Resources mentioned: The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk (heads up: it's a heavy read, but an important one)
Connect with Sharna
Find me here: @reproductivelossleadership
If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love to stay connected.
My mission is to help change the landscape of pregnancy loss care through education, advocacy, research, and evidence-informed, trauma-informed support. Whether you're navigating your own loss, supporting someone you love, or you're a healthcare professional wanting to improve the care you provide, there's a place for you here.
You can follow my work, explore educational resources, listen to more podcast episodes, or learn about the Pregnancy loss recovery method & Integrated Pregnancy Loss Care framework Or the Pregnancy Loss & Trauma-Informed Specialist Certification.
Together, we're creating a future where every pregnancy loss is acknowledged, every family is supported, and every practitioner feels confident to provide compassionate, person-centred care.
I'd love to hear what resonated with you from today's episode.
Share your thoughts, leave a review, or connect with me on social media—your voice helps shape this conversation and reach more families who need it.
Thank you for being part of this community. Together, we're changing the future of pregnancy loss care.
Follow the podcast page: @pregnancyloss_podcast
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you are a practitioner supporting women through reproductive loss and want to go deeper on the neuroscience and body-based frameworks behind this work — the Pregnancy Loss & Trauma-Informed Specialist Certification is where we take all of this further.
