EP129: Navigating the grief of choosing to be childless not by choice with Guest Judi Johnson

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This is one of the most important conversations this podcast has had. Because childlessness not by choice is one of the most complex, layered, and misunderstood forms of grief — and it is almost never talked about.

In this episode, Sharna sits down with Judi Johnson, certified grief coach and founder of Embrace Your Future, based in Auckland, New Zealand. Judi specialises in helping people navigate the grief of childlessness not by choice — and she speaks from both professional expertise and lived experience.

Together, they explore what it actually means to reach the point of "I cannot do this anymore" — whether that comes after years of pregnancy loss, failed fertility treatment, or life circumstances that made motherhood impossible — and what happens next, when the world around you still doesn't understand why you're not just trying again.

In this episode:

• Why grief on the reproductive journey starts far earlier than most people realise — long before the decision to stop
• The compounding layers of grief, guilt, hope, and loss that build through fertility treatment and pregnancy loss
• What it means to reach the decision to stop trying — and why that decision is not small, not simple, and not made lightly
• The myth of acceptance: why "you need to accept this" is the wrong thing to say, and what actually helps instead
• The profound loss of identity and sense of self when the future you imagined no longer exists
• How to protect yourself emotionally — in the workplace, at family events, around pregnancy announcements — when the world keeps coming
• Finding safe outlets for anger, grief, and emotional overwhelm
• Why you cannot wait to be rescued, and what it looks like to start doing the work yourself
• The unexpected truth about community — and how belonging eventually becomes possible again

Resources mentioned:

Judi Johnson — Embrace Your Future Website: embraceyourfuture.net 

Free download: Coping mechanisms for emotional overwhelm

Free download: Breaking free from people pleasing

Instagram: @embraceyourfuturebyJudy

Facebook group: Childless Not By Choice community

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